‘Turn the TV off now, go and put your pyjamas on.’ Give a reason: ‘It’s time for bed.’ Give time for your child to comply, wait five seconds, stay quiet. Stay in the room. If your child does not comply, if you can do so, give them a choice,
Keep it friendly: ‘I can turn it off or you can, which would you prefer.’ Praise your child when they do comply. Don't be tempted to dilute that praise by saying 'Why can't you always do that' or words to that effect. If you do, you will be turning praise into criticism.
‘Ummm, that is a problem, only one laptop and you both want it’ (said calmly) You might then ask your children what the answer to this problem is. If they don’t know, give them some guidance. If they agree to the solution you have found together and the problem is solved, praise them for their ‘good’ behaviour ‘Well done you worked it out, that was sensible.’
What have they learnt?
That when you have a disagreement with someone, the best thing to do is to talk about it calmly and try to come up with a solution or compromise. And you the parent have role modelled how to stay calm and treat people with respect, even if they are getting on your nerves.
So give this a try next time your children are arguing, be patient though, and consistent, just doing it once won't be enough, remember Rome wasn't built in a day.
It’s the same for children, and anxiety in children and young people is very common. There are a lot of things you can do to help and encouraging your child to face their fears is one of them. I don’t mean throw them in at the deep end, but acknowledge that their fear is real to them, and then encourage baby steps towards overcoming that fear.
So, if you have a child who is scared of dogs take them somewhere where you know there will be dogs and just watch from a safe distance to start with (or even just watch some cute pu then gradually increase this challenge until your child can stand next to you on the path while a dog walks past, then move on to the next step etc. Remember to praise your child for facing up to their fears. If you have an anxious child, this sort of support is important and will help to make a difference.
STOP UNWANTED BEHAVIOUR IN IT'S TRACKS