Do you ever wake up in the morning, having slept well and feeling refreshed and ready for the day?
In this scenario your jug is full. Then the day begins: no one is doing what they should be doing, your older child is complaining he can't find his football kit, and doing nothing to help himself, your middle one is totally engrossed in a screen and oblivious to your instructions to start getting dressed.
 
The dog has just been sick on the carpet, and your toddler throws a tantrum because all the coccoa pops have been eaten. By the time you leave the house your jug is only about three quarters full.
 
Things are no better at work, you have a thousand emails, you can't get anything done, and your boss is on the warpath. Your jug continues to empty throughout the day.

​Back home, and the house is a tip, the children are arguing, tea has to be cooked and you are feeling shattered. Your jug is almost empty, and there is a busy evening of cooking, clearing up, tidying, bedtimes, supervising homework, doing the washing etc ahead of you. ​Maybe you don't sleep so well that night and wake up with a jug that is already half empty at the start of the next day.
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If you are operating with a jug that is never full, or perhaps even nearly empty most of the time, it is very important to try and find ways to to fill that jug up as often as you can. We all need time out to rest and relax, and to have a break. And sometimes we need to ask for help. If you feel pressure building up, try to find a way to have a little regular time out whenever you can. Being a parent is often hard work, make sure you fill your jug!

How can I get my children to listen and do as they are told?
This is one of most common questions I get asked. There are quite a few things you can do about this problem, here is one really simple tip, that can make such a difference. In fact one Dad I worked with started using it and when I asked how he had got on he said it had been 'A game changer.'
No issuing orders from a different room
​I used to call my son for his tea from the bottom of the stairs, which made it all too easy for him to pretend not to hear me, or just shout back that he was coming ‘in a minute.’
To avoid having to give the same instructions more than once, and to increase the likelihood that your child will comply, try this:
​Be in the same room. Use your child’s name, be clear, tell your child what to stop doing and what to start doing, describe the behaviour you want: 

Sibling arguments are very common and can be exasperating, but there is a lot you can do about this. Here's one simple tip:
See these situations as an opportunity to teach your kids how to handle disagreements. Instead of reacting in the moment in can be really useful to take a different approach and ask yourself:
‘What can I teach my children at this moment?
It can be tempting to shout, and if you do, you are not alone, squabbling children can be truly exasperating. But what are they learning when the parent shouts at them? Not much.
A better approach if you have decided to intervene would be this:
‘I see you two have a problem, what’s wrong?’ (said calmly)
Brother then says sister is hogging the laptop, sister says no she is not and brother keeps trying to snatch it from her.

​Anxiety in children and young people is becoming increasingly common, and sometimes it can be hard to know what to do when your child seems overwhelmed with anxiety or worry.
Here's a quick tip to help:
 
Small steps
Do you ever avoid doing something that makes you anxious? It’s very common. I’m nervous about driving on the motorway as I might miss my turning off and end up in Scotland! Daft really, but avoidance is a coping strategy. Not driving on the motorway is the way I choose to deal with my anxiety.
 

Do you sometimes feel you are tell your children what not to do all the time? It can be easy to slip into this habit, after all children are programmed to do things they are not meant to aren't they? Here's an alternative to telling your children off that can prevent unwanted behaviour in the first place. It's basically a simple distraction technique and one that most parents of toddlers quickly learn to use, without realising  (like a lot of ideas that are commonly used on younger children) that it can be  adapted for older children and is just as effective.
Instead of saying: 'Stop jumping on the sofa' say 'Let's look behind the cushions, there might be some money down there.'
​Instead of saying: 'Play nicely or I'll take it away' say 'That looks fun, can I have a go.' Instead of saying: 'Don't make a fuss' say 'I know it's hard, shall I help you.' 
This is a great way to transform what could be a negative interaction to a positive one. ​

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